If we are true to ourselves, we can not be false to anyone.William Shakespeare
Happy quarantine 2020! Wow, I can’t believe I actually had to write that, it truly doesn’t feel real. It’s a strange world we’re currently living in, and I wanted everyone to see it through the eyes of someone who is significantly immunocompromised. Everywhere you look, there are people posting to stay inside to keep the elderly and immunocompromised people safe and healthy, so if you are staying inside, you’re keeping me safe. And if you haven’t been staying inside, or at least distancing yourself from others, now you can put a face to someone you would be helping. I have Lupus, CREST Syndrome, Overlap Syndrome, and Polyarthritis, which weakens and compromises my immune system. My immune system attacks my healthy cells, so I take Methotrexate, which suppresses my immune system, to stop my body from attacking itself. To make it simple, my immune system is not as strong as the average person, which puts me at a greater risk of catching the Coronavirus. To be completely honest, I’m not super worried, and I’m trying to be as rational as possible. I saw my rheumatologist on Tuesday (like I do every 6 weeks, it just happened to fall during an unfortunate time) and she definitely made me feel a lot less worried about this whole thing. If I were to catch the virus, it wouldn’t be anything that would be life threatening, it would just take my body a little bit longer to fight it, which I’m used to. It can take me up to a month to get over the common cold, which is extremely annoying and frustrating but it’s something I’ve become used to. Even though for the most part I’m handling all of this okay, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit scared. I just want to stay as healthy and as safe as possible, but I also know that some things are unavoidable, so I just have to stay positive and aware of everything that is going on. I think in my normal day to day life, I sometimes struggle with what people don’t see. I have an invisible illness, and people don’t see my daily struggles and worries, and with the current state of our country in this pandemic, I think that my frustration is heightened. All of the sudden, every single person is hyperaware of handwashing, not sharing drinks/food, and cleaning everything that they touch. But this is my normal, everyday life, global pandemic or not. Because my immune system is weakened, I always make sure to wash my hands multiple times, and I NEVER share drinks with anyone. It’s become my new normal, it’s become something that has to happen to keep me healthy. And honestly, immunocompromised or not, please always wash your hands. I didn’t have a choice to get sick, I didn’t have a choice to have a weak immune system, but I do have a choice to take care of myself and my body, even if it is broken, it’s still mine. But I also choose to not live in fear. Fresh air is so important for my physical health, but more importantly for my mental health. I went to Montauk last week and it was so good for me, and the last few nights I’ve just been siting in my backyard reading a book. Being quarantined is not easy, but I have an amazing family who keeps it entertaining (but I’m very surprised we haven’t killed each other yet). Also one more thing that has really annoyed me is the new malaria drug that everyone is now talking about as a cure for the virus. The drug is Plaquenil, and I was on it for almost 2 years. Yes, it’s an anti-malaria drug, but it’s also been shown to help people with Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was on it before I switched to Methotrexate, I had to switch because Plaquenil did not work for me. The thing that annoys me is that a lot of people think this is a new, revolutionary drug that was just discovered, so it’s frustrating for me, and my fellow autoimmune warriors, who have known about this medication forever. I truly hope that it works for people fighting the virus, and I also truly hope that all of the people who take it for their autoimmune diseases still have access to it. It’s a scary world that we are living in, but just remember that this too shall pass. When you wonder who you are staying inside for, think of me, and all of the other immunocompromised people in the world. If you’re struggling with your mental health during this quarantine, know that you are not alone, I’m right there with you. And a big thank you to our healthcare workers, especially my rheumatologist and psychiatrist, who I was able to see in office earlier this week to get my medications. We’ll all get through this, here’s to staying inside and staying healthy!